What is your story? Everybody has a story. I believe we were created for relationship and at our core we are all storytellers. It’s through our stories that we connect with others. But what happens when they define us? I think that’s where many of us go astray. Our stories aren’t meant for us – they’re meant for others…
Taking an 
experience, thought or idea that has a home in us and helping it come alive in the mind or heart of another is not easy – just ask any CEO, teacher, pastor, or public speaker. Too often we find ourselves on the listening end of people who have not understood the challenge they are facing. There’s a story(!) – perhaps it’s an urban legend – of a female actor auditioning for a director. Her monologue was strong and included a great deal of emotion and wet tears. When she was done the director turned to her and said, “That was quite good. Now. I want you to do it again. This time instead of you feeling it help me feel it.” Many times our stories can fall into the same trap. They have life in us but can’t find life in others. Why does this happen?
I wonder if too often we over replay stories until they become not just memories with feelings but current worries with emotion. In a real way they don’t just live in the past as memories but also in the now as reality. Eventually instead of describing some part of our past they become defining for who we are. Instead of descriptive they become prescriptive. I think this is especially true of the stories that carry bits of hurt, fear, and shame. Instead of releasing these memories to the world as stories we hold them inside. We play them over and over and never let them go. Stories like these or the story that the actor was trying to tell can never find life in others – they are too busy living in us. They can’t become something the listener can experience if we still are.
But our stories aren’t meant to be held. They are meant to be shared. We need to hold them loosely always willing to offer them to others, and we need to walk expectantly waiting for others to offer us theirs. Cultivating friends who are able to carry some of our stories is a great gift we give ourselves and each other. Ironically, sharing our stories helps solidify relationships that will enable others to better hear and carry ours. It’s an amazing self-perpetuating process that simply needs a place to start…